News Desk
WASHINGTON D.C. – In a not so earnest effort to resolve the Israeli-Palestinian conflict through diplomacy and restraint, US Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) floated the modest proposal of providing Israel with a fresh supply of nuclear weapons to display over Gaza Strip.
“For too long, we’ve tried those ineffective methods like ceasefires, peace talks, and not slaughtering civilians,” Graham lamented while proudly enjoying AIPEC greenbacks. “When’s the last time negotiations created a viable Jewish religious ethno-state free from non-Semitic interference? It’s time to wipe that Arab Islami Hamas thorn from our ally’s side with a little Mushroom Cloud!”
The Senator, who rubs shoulders with Muslim Zionist leaders, claimed Israeli tactics like bombing hospitals, shooting medics, blasting ambulances and gunning down children and pregnant mothers have sadly failed to permanently cripple Hamas’ anti-Semitic activities. Only a few precise, terrorist humanitarian nuclear detonations, he argued, could provide the much-needed WW2 style “final solution” to finally achieve lasting peace and wipe Palestinian dream.
“A couple signature bright lights over Gaza ought to not only vibe check those Hamas, but vibrantly stabilize the region for business for decades to prosper with Jewish money in Arab businesses,” Graham said while watching IDF drone footage and munching a pork sparerib. “Then Israel can take its rightful place as the peaceful, only-morale-democratic theological ethno-state as we labeled it always! And we get election funds too”.
At press time, Graham was overheard asking U.S. generals when they plan a firework over middle east to make sure he is informed of the time to enjoy the show over his 75ins Chinese made TV.
