News Desk
VIENNA — The Maldives, best known for beaches, corals and tourists fighting over overwater villas, has now officially been welcomed into the International Atomic Energy Agency. A nation with a land area smaller than some nuclear power plants, Maldives now finds itself one step closer to being able to say the words “atomic energy” in diplomatic speeches without anyone laughing.
Ambassador Dr. Salma Rasheed told the conference this was “an important national achievement.” Observers noted she stopped short of promising a Maldivian reactor in Hulhumalé, perhaps because no one has figured out where to plug it in between the God given infinity pools and coconut trees.
Officials say membership will allow Maldives to seek technical assistance in health, food security and “people building,” which locals assume means “keeping islands above water while the sea rises.” Tourism operators privately worry about brochures needing a new slogan: The Sunny Side of Life (Now Slightly Radioactive).
Not everyone is convinced. “We can’t even keep the streetlights working in Malé without a blackout,” said one resident. “But sure, let’s flirt with atomic energy. What could go wrong?”
Despite this, the international community voted overwhelmingly in favour, perhaps relieved that for once a small country wasn’t applying for nuclear weapons but instead for radiation therapy machines and international conference speaking rights.
Meanwhile, Maldivians wonder if the new atomic membership comes with a discount on sunscreen, given that glowing may soon become a national pastime.
PS: This article is satire, and no atoms were split in the making of it.
