News Desk
MALE, —In a podcast episode that didn’t quite break the internet but definitely made some waves, President Dr. Mohamed Muizzu doubled down Thursday on his mission to help Maldivian students studying abroad snag US dollars at the official bank rate, rather than resorting to sketchy black-market dealers or bartering their textbooks. Dropping wisdom on the third installment of the President’s Office’s Rayyithunaa Eku—think like tropical policy vibes—Muizzu tackled the woes of 1,600 students grinding away under government loan schemes abroad.
Chatting like a cool uncle who’s been there, done that, the President shared that he’s been hitting up Maldivian students during his globetrotting adventures, and their top gripe is clear: getting greenbacks at a decent rate is tougher than finding Wi-Fi on an uninhabited island. “They’re out there chasing degrees, we got to help them,” he said, probably while sipping a coconut water. To fix this, he’s tasked Finance Minister Moosa Zameer with cooking up a plan so clever it could probably pass a calculus exam.
Muizzu, ever the multitasker, revealed that the gears are already turning, with the Maldives Monetary Authority’s governor looped in to keep things legit. He promised students will soon score dollars at the bank rate without jumping through hoops. But, in a nod to keeping the local market cooler than a beach breeze, he stressed that any fix won’t send the economy into a tailspin.
The government’s all-in on turning brainy Maldivians into global superstars, with loan schemes and scholarships raining down like monsoon season. Social media’s buzzing with cautious optimism, though one X user quipped, “If I get dollars at bank rate, I’m framing the receipt.” For now students abroad are crossing their fingers that Muizzu’s plan delivers faster than an international SWIFT transfer.
Disclaimer: This is satire, served with a side of humor. No actual dollars were exchanged (or framed) in this parody.
